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Journal

June 1st through June 4th, 2005

Some changes surfaced on my journey to the Florida Keys, and Key West. The first full day in the Florida Keys we made a last minute decision to go on a snorkeling adventure. The captain warned us that there were "squalls out on the Gulf Stream", and that rain and churning seas may make our water experience disappointing.

We smiled, and enjoyed the 30 minute ride out into the Gulf of Mexico. I plunged into the warm Gulf waters when we anchored on the Coral Reef. The water churned beneath the gray cloudy skies. Raindrops splattered the churning ocean, and snorkeling was a challenge.

Still, the sea grass fans were dancing, and the fish darted in and out of the grass and coral. I was rocked by the ocean motion, while I mostly breathed salt air, and occasionally sucked some salt water into my lungs. Thirty minutes I rolled in the churning sea. Then I boarded the boat, and enjoyed watching the darker cloudes close in as the squall built a circle of rain around the boat.

The 30 minute ride back to the Keys was an adventure into the void. We were riding and sliding on the surface of the swells, speeding into the void. Our circle of vision expanded as we approached the shoreline.

Several days later, after exploring Key West, we crossed back over the seven mile bridge which is like a ribbon that separates the Atanatic Ocean from the Gulf of Mexico. As we drove over the seven mile bridge I hoped for some sun, so that the flavors of the water would no longer be shades of gray. My wish was granted, and enough sun broke through the clouds for the ocean to transform into subtle shades of blues and torquoise.

We returned to the Keys that are marked by the 80 mile marker, the Key named Islamorada. The cloudy, rainy, tropical weather had been persistent, and provided a sultry cloak of humidity for exploration.

When we arrived at our cabana, we were delighted to find a very nice pool, and and even nicer beach on the Atlantic Ocean. The Keys have private beaches, and it is unusual to find such a large beach front. The palm trees were blowing as the gray clouds continued to block out blue skies.

Since no one was on the beach except me, I sat in one of the many beach lounges that faced the Atlantic Ocean. I guess it was the blowing winds that chased away vacationers, and sent them poolside.

It was the perfect set up for a meditation on the southeast coast of continental U.S. I had been to Mile Marker 0 in Key West, and in that charming town where pirates and ghosts from the past congregate, I had looked out from the most southern point of land towards Cuba.

Now I sat alone, with the wind and salt air blowing through my hair, and I meditated. It was Saturday, June 4th, on the Islander Resort's beach, on the purple island, Islamorada. Radha?

Every now and then an extraordinary moment happens. I hold no claim to the happening, I just open to the possibilites which are infinite. In this hour, alone on the empty beach, one of those moments of enlightenment happened.

As I am typing this for whoever is interested, Wayne Dyer is on KPBS, reminding me and you, I suppose, that we are the light.

Since we are the light we can be whatever we choose, healthy, happy, whatever! Most of us don't believe that to be true, and we create out own limits, and whatever we create, the source allows.

I am hesitant to tell you what happened next. Because I, and most likely you, believe that enlightenment is only for the few, the proud, and chosen.

And yet, I was taught a few things, not just by my teacher but by all members of enlightenment. The DNA of enlightenment is transferrable, and transmutable -- maybe it is just ever present, and once in awhile we allow it through.

I was "told" through some system that I had to be on the east coast -- connecting to the Atlantic Ocean, in order to move into the next level. I sat in these levels of light, enlightenment before. But like you, I deny them, and assume it cannot be. (Today Wayne Dyer reminds me the source allows us to live our lives as we think.)

During that hour meditation I was in that stateless state that really has no name. Occassionally during that meditation pieces of information attach to consciousness, and can therefore be brought back in a word format.

Samadhi is part of who I am. Lynne, is too. All are aspects of parts of who I am. As all parts of who I am are swept away, as the Pacific and Atlantic forces unite, the totality is experienced, in those moments. And in those moments, I am Laksmi.

As I end my meditation, I sit quietly, struggling with identity, and as always ask that some sign be afforded that might convince me of this new awakening. I am so bold as to choose the sign. I have seen almost no sunshine in the Keys, except for a bit of light as we crossed the 7 mile bridge. So I decide that the sun must shine, or I will discount all of this nonsense.

There has been almost no blue sky for days, and within 15 minutes the sun above my little beach is shining, and I laugh aloud, alone. I step into the Atlantic Ocean, and submerge myself, like somekind of a ritual reminicent of a Christian baptismal.

I continue to doubt my experience, and the sun continues to break through and shine brighter, and for the next few hours I enjoy the pool and the bright sunshine, and the awakening.

When I came home, I went online and studied the relationship and stories of Vishnu and Laksmi. I had never known much about Laksmi except that it was the name of Rama's Center when I was a member. I was surprised that this was the first couple of enlightenment. Perhaps that is not the best way to state the union of their energies, but it seems to work.

I was further surprised that Vishnu holds symbols, one of which is a Conch Shell, and that it makes the universal om sound. In Key West I must have heard the word conch hundreds and hundreds of time. The shell used to be abundant there, and in fact the locals whose families have been there for more than a generation are called conchs. It was a common recurring reference throughout our stay in the Keys.

I was surprised again that Laksmi came from the churning sea, and that the rose quartz gem has been associated with her. I found a rose quartz in "the desert gorge" that I carry wtih me always.

This is a tricky moment for me, because the pieces of me that are ego, Lynne, Samadhi, resist the totality of recognition. How can I possibly be divine? Me?

I can't. That is the point. It is not the pieces of me who define my divinity. Lynne doubts this whole experience, and agrees with you, that I am lost in an egocentric identity that is absurd. OF course!

And yet, from the churning oceans that are eternal, I recognize the divine, who is infinite, who is the source, who is me, and you. Of course! Rama always told you this was true, you never believed it. Neither did I. That is because you and I had not a snowball's chance it hell of realizing our enlightenment.

But, the true self, the one which had communion with the enlightened teacher, that totality, that infinite self, is reuniting with the light. That divine self is "in light".