Spiritual Growth By Jenna

An emotion lasts for only a moment. The mind grabs hold of the emotions you experience with thoughts about the emotion. The mind considers why you're having that particular emotion, other times you had that emotion, and whether or not it enjoys the emotion. Then the memory of the emotion is played over and over in the mind through this thought process. In the meantime, you miss all of the other interesting emotions you may be actually feeling in those moments you are stuck in your thoughts.

Spiritual practice is not about denying and repressing unpleasant emotions. Many people arrive at a meditation class seeking to escape negative feelings. They confuse the practice of mindfulness (the practice of controlling and moving beyond thoughts) with controlling their emotions. Emotions cannot be controlled; they are fleeting. Emotions can be denied; however, denial is not freedom.

Letting go of thought does not mean you will no longer feel emotions. Meditation is not an escape from feeling. Quite the opposite: without the obstruction of thought, emotions are deeper and richer. Imagine being able to love with your entire heart instead of holding back and checking yourself with thought. However, emotions last for only a moment - blazing through your being in all their glory.

Spiritual growth is not all happy sunshine. Of course there is unfathomable bliss, which makes any transitory discomfort you experience pale in comparison. In the embrace of meditation, the individual self and all its concepts of the world dissolve.

When awareness recedes back to ordinary consciousness, the realization that you and the world are not what you thought can be very disconcerting. It can feel as if suddenly the rug has been pulled out from under your feet, and you may have a big black bruise on your butt. In a sense, your world has crashed down around you, and you have no idea of how to put it back together. You may not know where "you" fit in anymore. The "you" you have grown so accustomed to is irretrievably gone.

You have not yet attained the realization of Enlightenment, and you are painfully aware of this fact and you know beyond doubt the material world is no longer enough for you. There's no way to turn back, and only the unknown lies before you. At this point, it's easy to get stuck. The mind replays the feelings of confusion and despair over and over. There is nothing left to hold on to because you know everything is transitory.

It's at this point where your training will serve you well. This is the time when you see clearly before you all your weaknesses. As always, you have a choice: you can indulge in feelings of inadequacy, or you can get back to work on strengthening and purifying your Self. With unbending intent and faith, you focus your attention on the only constant: Enlightenment. You grab hold of God, in whatever way is comfortable for you, whether that be God with or without form. You immerse yourself once again in the Light, trusting that it will guide you into ecstasy and the ultimate Truth.