January 18, 2005

I remind students how important the process of journaling is, particularly as you remember dreaming. Here is another example of how writing about those powerful dreams will help you understand the lessons.

Still, behind the words that makes sense of your dream, there is an energy and reality that you absorb into who you are, and it is there, whether or not you write. The point of writing is to create a place in your conscious mind to access that information, and to help you understand the meaning behind the blocks of awareness.

Here is my dream, and for some reason, it was long, detailed, and even continued after I awoke and wrote the first part of the dream. That is not common, to slip back into a dream and continue. (I condensed the second part of the dream.)

I was driving with a friend to meet a group of old co-workers from UCSD. My friend, who is not connected to either Rama or UCSD was riding in my car, and she let me know she didn't want this to take too long.

We were the first of the UCSD group to arrive in the desert. There was another group there. Rama was there with a group of students. I left the friend who had driven out with me, and sat with another student on the desert floor, where I could view the two film screens that were set up on adjoining mountains. I watched Rama on one screen, and watched the other screen as well. I gazed at the screens and felt very filled with energy.

I don't know why the other students did not join in the sitting meditation. After the movies were complete, Rama walked up to me and the other person seated on the desert floor, and asked about the experience.

"It was very powerful", I replied.

"It was not that powerful" Rama corrected, and stood waiting for a response.

I was surprised by his retort, and after thinking about it, I said, "It was very high energy, I am filled with energy, I can feel it."

Rama smiled and walked away, seeming to indicate I had it right this time.

I was sandwiched between two cars, and one of my very flambouyant UCSD friends arrived, and was talking in a loud voice as she approached. She looked a little tired from the walk, and she was looking towards Rama who was speaking, and asking if that wasn't my teacher from a long time ago.

The space between the two cars was so narrow that I could not get through to talk to her, but I layed my head down along the back fender of the white SUV as she talked. I said to her, softly, "Yes, that was my teacher," and then I corrected my self, saying, "That is my teacher."

Suddenly I heard Rama's voice say: "Get your head off of my car, and pay attention to what I am saying. Is that clear?"

Without hesitation I said, "Yes sir." The command and response had a very military texture.

In the aftermass of that exchange I had many thoughts. Why had I come out to the desert with friends from UCSD? Why had I come to the place where Rama was teaching? What was I thinking?

I realized as I wrote that there had been two screens in the desert, two mountains, and two cars. The space between the two cars was so narrow, it was like the two cars were pushing against me. Symbols of what? The worlds of light and enlightenment, pushing against the world of maya, or illusion.

The two worlds are so close they are almost the same, nirvana, samsara. They are melding in to one. And yet, there is a tension, a space that separates them, and I saw my tendency. My tendency is to give attention to the world of maya--I find time for maya first.

Maybe the symbols are pointing not only to the world or duality in which we all live, but to the concept of the "double". Doubles, or naguals, are rare. Were secrets pushed into that narrow space between worlds?

Dreaming, like all of life, is filled with possibilities.

Moving towards union,
                      joining the finite and the infinite,
                                  sensing the tension of the narrowing space
                                                                                 between maya and enlightenment.

                                                        Part 2

I wrote the above, fell asleep, and the second part of the dream goes like this.

I am hosting a party, and there are many different groups at the outdoor party, all with their own stuff. Rama is over in the back corner, piling stuff in the corner. I am very aware of his presence, and I spent a lot of time going back and forth to the various groups. Rama asked for a tall glass of water, and it took me forever to find a glass. I finally had to clean a glass, and when I went to look for him I discovered he and the group were in a small Tibetian church watching a wedding. The dream carried that same sense that I was filled with activities that were of this world of illusion, and overlooking all of the "stuff" available through the teachings. Rama, and his "stuff" were in the corner.